unfiltered Sundays | 25.05.25

Just came back from a long hiatus

Hey, hi… it’s me again…I’m going to save the long apology for this hiatus; just know I’ve found my desire to write again. It’s not that nothing has been happening—I’ve just had writer’s block. So cliché of me. I could write about so much that happened in these past two months, but I’ll just focus on this past week. The topics I’ll be discussing are:

• Paris

• Different relationships, different requirements

• Men ruining the internet

• Power of music

Paris

Our lovely neighbour, Paris. I’ve always had a love-hate relationship with it. When I hear people express their love for the city, I can’t help but feel a bit of FOMO. I want to experience the great vibes and delicious food, but every time I’ve been, it’s felt lacklustre.

I just spent 48 hours in Paris, essentially alone, and I think I’ve finally found the recipe to enjoy it. Firstly, it has to be a hot, sunny day otherwise, it’s just London with Baroque and Gothic architecture. Secondly, as someone who actually hates being alone, I would advise you to go solo. Either alone or with one other person. I felt so free to do whatever I wanted, and it’s such a busy city that you don’t really notice you’re alone.

I will say there were a few moments where I felt on alert, but as with any city, you need to use common sense and stay hyper-aware. It helped that many locals thought I was one of them, purely based on my look and rough French accent.

In the past, I made the mistake of staying in the touristy areas or south of the river. I recommend staying in the 10th or 11th arrondissement. Most of the best shops, restaurants and hotels are there, so it’s easy to get around. I’m still yet to find the iconic food people rave about, but did I have some fabulous pastries and coffee? Hell yeah. If you get the chance, try out Kun Café, Café Singuliers, Dalia, Matcha Ochaya, Girafe, Le Train Bleu, and Ferdi, to name a few.

Don’t even get me started on the shopping. Not only is it cheaper because it’s in euros, but you also get your tax refund. With the selection of high-quality vintage stores, you’ll need to bring an extra suitcase. I would, without a doubt, travel to Paris just to buy clothes.

Another first for me this time was taking the Eurostar. I’d never understood the appeal before, but now I get it. You can take however many bags you want, they don’t really check, and you can bring whatever size liquids. It’s so quick, you literally arrive in central Paris in two hours. The airport just isn’t worth it for such a short trip. I’ll definitely be using it again.

To summarise the perfect Parisian experience: go solo, stay in the 10th or 11th arrondissement, stay alert, go in spring or summer, take the Eurostar, stay for no more than three days, and skip the touristy things.

different relationships, different requirements

This one is short. I’m a very contradicting person. I hate affection but also need so much of it. This contrast drives me insane because it makes things unclear for the people around me and I don’t fully understand it myself, so I can’t explain it.

I’ve realised that I have different requirements for different kinds of relationships. This might be a bit TMI, but for context: I didn’t grow up in an affectionate family. I don’t remember ever saying “I love you,” and I probably last hugged my mum when I was eight. So that’s not where I seek comfort or affection.

In friendships, I don’t seek affection in the conventional way either. Instead, I look for a sense of community, loyalty, trust, and thoughtfulness through actions, not necessarily words. I tell my friends I love them and I love spending time with them now and then, but it’s not my number one way of showing love.

In romantic relationships, however, I expect it all. I want everything. I need reassurance. I want to be told how much I mean to someone, I want to be touched, I want time spent with me. I want all of it.

My theories are:

1. I seek everything I missed growing up in my romantic relationships because it’s a different kind of vulnerability.

2. I know my friendships are stable, so I don’t need constant reassurance but my romantic relationships have all been tumultuous, so I crave something more healing, deeper, and stable.

It’s probably a mix of both. The important thing is remembering that not all relationships require the same things.

men ruining the internet

A few of my videos have gone viral on TikTok recently, which brought an influx of men to my profile. Two of the videos in particular had polarising reactions. On one, men were belittling me, accusing me of having surgery, sexualising me, and calling me all kinds of names. On the other, they were praising me and proposing but still in an overbearing way.

I have pretty tough skin when it comes to online comments. There’s not much that gets to me, but when you see 16,000 comments and 800,000 likes, it makes you pause. I find myself wondering: what are you all doing here?

It made me think about how different the internet would be if it were women-only. Sure, we’d still find things to argue about, but would we feel more comfortable? Absolutely. I wonder how we would behave without the pressure of male validation. Would we post differently? Would we wear different things? Would we be kinder?

I’m not sure but I do believe men are ruining a lot of our experiences online, and I’m okay making a blanket statement like that.

things I love

I remember seeing the Alaïa ballet flats last summer and thinking they looked dumb. Recently I’ve been on a mission to transition my wardrobe into more structured basics, and I’ve been missing a good flat shoe I can wear daily. Long story short, the flats grew on me, so I bought them. I originally wanted the nude colour, but they were sold out everywhere. Luckily, there was one black pair in Paris, so I grabbed it. In hindsight, I’m glad, they go with everything.

I’m not a Dyson Airwrap fan, but I’ve been wanting the ability to give myself at-home blow-dries. I got the Shark FlexStyle, and I genuinely believe it’s what the Airwrap thinks it is. Not only does my hair hold the style better, I actually prefer its versatility. Sure, Dyson’s branding is more appealing, but do you want aesthetics or results?

If you don’t want to splurge on a shoe like the Alaïa, a flip-flop has been giving me the same joy. Wearing a flip-flop with wide-leg trousers taps into the grown woman in me. There’s something so chic about it, I just wish I lived in a cleaner city.

This will probably get a full section in next week’s Substack, but I’m currently on a mission to find a good nail salon in London. I can’t stand the quality at Townhouse anymore. I went rogue and tried a new spot that does Russian manicures, and I genuinely don’t know what I was doing before. The technician spent 50 minutes on my cuticles alone, and over a week later, there’s still no sign of regrowth. I’ve been converted.

I have two cats, but I want a dog. I think this might be a sign that I’m craving more nurturing experiences, because caring for a dog is so much more demanding. Ideally, I’d get a Doberman or Dalmatian but realistically, I’m leaning towards a little red or black cocker spaniel girl. I need to think about this logically, but nothing I ever do is logical.

A few weeks have passed, but not much has changed around here. There are a few exciting things coming up, and I’m in a better mental space. I hope you’re all doing fabulously and I’m so happy to be back. <3

Jéssica